on the way to munich

we were in awe of the frosted trees and light gray sky, so when i saw a lake on the gps ("tinkerbell"), we took a detour and found this. so now i have a pic for next year's holiday cards!

karmabug photography

this is my new logo for karmabug photography.

wwvjd?

what would vacation jonathan do?

if only "day-to-day jonathan" was half as cool as "vacation jonathan," what a life i'd have! i'd have more fun, savor my time, disregard trifling minutiae and enjoy my friends more.

i think it was rabbi harold kushner in one of his books that talks about how keeping kosher, while placing limits, ends up providing more variety. the principle is that when a resource is limited, the more creative you become. i think of some of the amazing work i did in organic chemistry when a lab report was due the next day, the gourmet dishes i've cooked when i was vegetarian or on the south beach diet and the momories i've packed into a single week while traveling. so what did i do that was interesting this week?

of course vacation jonathan would have massive debt and no retirement.

maybe i should just go kosher.

Ouch

A person who knows three languages is trilingual, a person who knows two languages is bilingual and a person who knows one language is American.

yo, 'sup dog?

my nephew, mr. cool.

the kayak trip

near innsbruck, austria with my friend kevin.

maui is paradise

it's not easy to impress a floridian with a beach, but maui does it.

the lunar landscape of haleakala crater. this is 10,000 feet --those are the tops of clouds in the background.

i'm too sexy for this island.

helicopter ride over maui and molokai.

hawaii so far

since i've been here i've spent most of my time sitting on my ass in a conference room with no windows. i am surprized just how mentally and physcially exhausting that is. klair is having much more fun: going to the beach, window shopping, reading, relaxing, sleeping in... i'm jealous.

the real fun for me begins tonight. training is over today and we fly to maui. less buildings, cars, people, noise and shopping.

i'll post pictures soon!

sea elephant

this manatee is just like a cat i had: would rather drink from a dripping faucet than his bowl. in russian, it translates into sea elephant. wouldn't sea walrus be more accurate all around?

happy to be in florida

at the don cesar on st. pete beach

fresh from the field

duh

i try to keep a low profile when i travel. many people are not so fond of america. i even went so far as sewing a canadian flag on my backpack when i went to turkey. with all my practice, i can still be picked out of a crowd. in moscow, i asked klair why this is. she couldn't really put her finger on it either. "you clothes, your hair --" but couldn't be specific.



i know that one thing that gives me away is wearing sneakers all the time. but this is non-negotiable, so i try to at least wear black or gray ones. i bought a new pair in preparation for my trip to moscow. a week or so after i returned, i noticed the complete design of what i had been wearing:

well, duh.

straight poop

i'll be in florida in 4 days! yay!

if you want to see the specifics, check the google calendar to the right --> (damn i wish i bought stock!). you can even click on any one of those things and get more info if i've posted it yet. not enough to steal my identity or anything i hope.

so, if you care enough to read this, you're probably one of the people i'll be seeing! yay!

jd

did i win the lottery?

so, yeah: hawaii. very cool. hmmm. how can this get any better? oh yeah: klair is coming with me! that's one hell of a second date.

i met klair (la moscovita formerly known as sveta) on my last night in moscow. i'm still pissed that in 9 days i only met her the last night. klair says everything is exactly as it should be.

after hawaii, we are going to manhattan for a few days. i've signed us up for dave letterman tickets, wish us luck. klair doesn't know who he is. so, i get credit for introducing her to dave? wow. maybe we'll get real lucky and get to play, "know your cuts of meat." perfect. i've been on atkins!

phonics lesson

i was going over the sounds “c” and “k” with my kindergarteners. one student recognized that c and k are in ‘duck.’ yes, i said, duck does have a c and k in it! this is what we call a teachable moment. so i veer of into leading the group to spell ‘duck.’ ck are the last sound, what sound is in the beginning? d—d—duck. right! d. now what vowel sound do we hear in dU—U—Uck? i went through the list of vowels hanging on the board. is it dA-Ack? nooooo. is it dE-Eck? noooo. is it dI-Ick?


i swear, i didn’t see it coming: i had to hear myself say it. it's a good thing they're in kindgergarten.

newest photos

last weekend i did some portriats for a friend's daughter. i wanted to use these rapseed fields before they're harvested.

Amy Winehouse -You Know I'm No Good

mmm... sublime. a nice jewish girl from london.

if the video freezes or is choppy, try pausing it for a few moments.

is it HaVaii or HaWaii?

a man asks a stranger, "is it pronounced HaVaii or HaWaii?"
the stranger responds, "HaVaii."
"thank you."
"you're Velcome."


my job is sending me to hawaii this summer! dig it. volcanoes! woo-hoo! maybe i'll get to see them filming lost! hmmm, martha's picture with john locke...

germanization

in honor of earth day, i bought my very own gnome. the earth day connection is is outfit. now that's biodegradable. understand that around here, gnomes are not so kitsch. they're disturbingly common.

that's a snail in his hand. c'mon, you know he's cute.

HAPPY wipe my ass EARTH DAY!

singer cheryl crow has announced her plan to save to planet: one square of toilet paper per trip to the loo. i'm sorry, cheryl, i don't have a square to spare.

perhaps if we spent less time talking about how to wipe our asses and hybrid cars that real people can't afford, and spent more time learning about who we can vote for, we wouldn't be so hopelessly behind in LEGISLATION.

pictures of moscow

on most of these you can click and see it larger. saint basil's cathedral. brought to you by dr. suess. ("God is good, God is great, hurry and pray, or we'll be late!")

st. basil's

kremlin

looking through the kremlin gate at the top of the history museum

another cool church in red square. on saturday before eastern orthodox easter, women brought food for easter sunday into the church to have it blessed. he sprinkled holy water (a.k.a. god saliva) on them and their food. i got sprinkled as well. it didn't burn!

kremlin from the bridge over moscow river

the beautiful klair.

mockba, day 1

i arrived in moscow at 2 am this morning. igor was there with my name on a sign. i felt all special. he spoke no english, so we had a very quiet drive to where i was to sleep last night, which was a complete mystery to me. turns out it was the apartment of a woman named irene. she spoke a little engish; very little. she made tea, we chatted. in the morning she made me eggs and we chatted some more. we talked about our cultures and the inevitable question: "do you like bush?" NO! it's important to let the world hear first hand about all the bush haters! i told her bush only cares about rich people. she said putin is the same. she said russians are unhappy because of unemployment. but i'm under the impression that russians have always been unhappy? she said she doesn't watch the news because it gives her agita (my word). she really enjoys reading, and she has been reading some very interesting new information lately. if i understood her correctly, the devil came to earth millions of years ago in spaceships in order to kill all the white people. WTF? SHE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT!!!! oh, i clarified and pantomimed and her story did not change. she was very happy to see my open minded interest and was thrilled to give me a photo copied article. there are pictures of the galaxy and pictures of spaceships. my mission is now to have this translated to me by someone who is hopefully not psychotic.

AWESOME GERMAN PORN!

ok, not exactly, but explicit nonetheless. make sure the kids are not in the room if you're not ready for "that" discussion yet. but if you are, this is the perfect tool!

http://www.planetdan.net/pics/babies/index.htm

Do svidaniya!

it's been awhile since i've posted anything. i was thinking about why a few days ago and realized that i'm getting very used to living here, there doesn't seem like anything interesting to talk about. it's all becoming so normal.

but here's something cool: I'M LEAVING FOR RUSSIA TOMORROW! i'm spending my spring break week in moscow. there may be a side trip to st. petersburg, which would be awfully fitting. plans have changed a great deal. i was hoping to be there with doug, but his kidneys seem to have another plan for him. this threw me because i didn't do ANY planning. i can't say hello, goodbye, or "fill me up with caffeine." i couldn't even get a travel book because there aren't any on post and one in german won't do me much good. so i'm going to have to trust Uncle Pasha (http://www.unclepasha.com/ the site's hilarious!).

oh yeah, another thing i found interesting- i needed my visa quickly so i had to drive to the russian consulate in munich a few weeks ago. as i'm driving in munich (thank GOD for tinkerbell, my gps navigator) i imagined a phone call from a woman with a thick russian accent, let's call her natasha, instructing "meet me at the russian consulate in munich at noon-- and come alone."